She went from zero to smokin in five shots
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
