Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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