I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
