We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
