Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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