Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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