new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
My underwear smells like fireworks.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
