Nicole vs. Life
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize