we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
You need Xanax blowdarts
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize