Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
