We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
