is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize