I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
i believe in u and ur pee
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