yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
