DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
is wine microwaveable?
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
