Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
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