It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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