U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
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