STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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