I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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