I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
