woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
