Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
