So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Drunk walkin through police station. America
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
