honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
