Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
