She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
