So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
