he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
