Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
