Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
