She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
She even gives head with a lisp.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
