Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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