her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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