i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
