dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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