he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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