If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
