he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
