I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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