There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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