i don't like sucking hair
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
