There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
