would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I could fuck to npr.
Randomize
