Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
