This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
