Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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