Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
its liver damage thursday
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
