dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
