yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
You may now shotgun with the bride
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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