brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
