I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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