I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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