But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
