But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
thus making me awesome and them whores
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
whose parrot is this?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
