My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
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