wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
