Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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