the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I need to align my fucking chakras
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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