the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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