just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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