I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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