I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
