exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
