I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
COCAINE IS GR8
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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