And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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