my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Your penis caused this!
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
