Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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