I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
