batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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