"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
