He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
