better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
