You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
