For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
