He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
