My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
