Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
At least make sure they are 18
Why
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
