I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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