Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize