He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
