and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize