Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
